A Brotherless Life Or A Botherless One?

Disclaimer: This post doesn’t intend to hurt or offend anyone’s feelings with brothers around.

One of the darkest and the most prevailing mindset that has been continuing from the primitive days is gauging the strength of a woman by the number of sons she bore. And in case she failed to produce none, then those emphatic eyes and sentences like

Haye bechari ka koi beta nahi” “Kash k ek he beta hojata“, “Burhapey ka sahara hota“, follow her to the grave.

I clearly remember, when my mom was expecting her third and the last one after a gap of nine years, people from family and far off acquaintance would ask me being the eldest to pray whole-heartedly for a brother this time to bring an end to our brother-less years.
Dil se dua mango, Allah miyan bacho ki dua qubool karta hai“, was what they used to say.

Everytime there was a baby boy in a gathering, they would ask me and my younger sister to hold him caress him but we used to brush off this stupid notion and continued praying for a sister again because we were obsessed with pinks of feminine.

And to utter surprise, our prayers were answered. We were blessed with a cute little doll this day, sixteen years ago.

(Yes, it is her birthday today)

While my mom, a bit disheartened from the societal pressure called my father and told,

“It’s a girl again”,

He scolded her back and said,

Shukar karo sehatmand aulad se nawaza Allah ne“.

Life progressed further with a mandatory question everytime we met new people. The questions would either be “Kitne bache hain aap k?

Teen betiyan hain mashallah

Ohh tchh! Beta ni hai?

Or

Kitne behen bhai ho?

Jee we are three sisters mashallah

Aur bhai?”

Jee koi ni

Aye haye! Chalo allah malik hai

The point of sharing this is the fact that people without sons and brothers do have a life. Yes they do. There are surely some difficulties they have to face but then, whose life is a bed of roses?

Our fathers might have to work for extra years.

Our mothers might have to do house chores without an additional help of a daughter-in-law.

We sisters might have to rush between admin offices, college departments, university surveys- ALONE.

We might have to pay extra visits and go extra lengths to cater to our parents needs but if a son can do so, why can’t a daughter too?

Does it makes our family any less of a normal household?

Does the fact of having no other male at home except our father outcasts us from the society?

Do we starve for fresh air or other basic necessities due to no other bread earner?

Certainly not!

Showing sympathies and throwing emphatic glances does not make us feel blue but rather represents your low mentality of considering a son as a life-time asset when he is not. Neither is his wife or kids. They are free to opt for the living system of their choice Islamically!

LIFE WITH SISTERS:

With only a few challanges to face, living among sisters is the best blessings from Almighty. They are your best friends by birth. They are the non-judgement party. They are a mother’s strength and the father’s pride. They are each other’s support always ready to back you up.

While everyone is pampered by their brothers, we sisters coddle each other infinitely.

While others ask their brothers to bring them their favourite food in the wee hours, we sisters order meals of each other’s choice.

While other parents proudly flaunt their articles gifted by their sons, our parents with content faces declare their presents gifted by their daughters.

While other’s children are spoiled by their maamus (maternal uncle), my child is pampered by his khalas and khalu.

We don’t have to worry about our parents being taken care of or being treated ill by any outsider entity.

We are the glory and advisories of our parents home and enjoy serving the purpose.

We are the Queens of their home, without any fear of giving up on our titles, ever.

Open Letter To My Younger Sister

Dear sister,

I have never said this on your face and probably never will, but I love you. I love you from the depth of my heart.

A wreck of an emotional yet an unexpressive person that I am, but the day you got married, it was beyond the bounds of possibility to control my tears. Tears of seeing you getting happily married and tears of being unable to meet you everytime I shall visit the roof we together once shared. Tears of the colourful memories we made throughout our childhood and tears for the times we fought like crazy cats. Tears for the happy times we shared and the moments of chaos when we stood together stronger and united.

That day was hard on me. I had my fears.

Fears of loosing you to unknown entities.

Fears of witnessing a changed ‘You’ the next day.

Fears of having to share and divide the emotional attachment between us.

Fears of compromising on the privacy between our matters.

It felt like giving away a piece that was so close to my heart.

It felt as if my happy bubble was being bursted by intruders.

It felt like being stranded in an ocean with a pirate ship advancing to hold you a hostage while leaving me behind all free.

But now as you are days away from completing your first round of a happy marriage, I am thankful to Almighty for blessing you with the best Mashallah.

For all the times when people inquisited about how many siblings I have and upon learning about no brothers their sympathetic faces that rather looked pathetic to me and still do, I am thankful to Almighty for blessing me with sisters and no brothers or their wives to be talked about.

Because not everyone is blessed with sisterhood, its perks and the feeling of not being judged no matter whatever you share with each other. It is such a delight in life to have a sister like you that calls for having an automatic best friend, soul mate, crime partner and gossip pooler.

Stay blessed today and always for all the years to come.

Happy Birthday.

Much love,
Elder sister