With special reference to drama serial “Kesa Hai Naseeban” that is showcasing domestic violence and marital abuse, I felt provoked to limits.
Ever since I gained consciousness and life acted as an eye opener for me, I have been keenly observing that words ‘patience‘, ‘tolerance‘ and ‘adjustments‘ are solely associated with women.
We are lectured from teenage and not to forget those exclusive ones just before getting hitched about spending entire life ahead with compromises and inducing flexibility in our disposition. We are taught to make adjustments in all kinds of circumstances putting our self-worth at stake too if the times call for so.
We are instructed to keep personal matters to ourselves which is a good notion but what if the matters consist of abuse, violence, curse-shaming and toxic relationship only?
Instead of asking them to exercise patience and tolerance, why don’t we strive for our daughters to be educated and be able to stand at their own feet?
Why don’t we make them economically independent before marrying them?
Why don’t we stress enough on monetizing their skills?
Why don’t we ponder upon the aspect of confidence building while raising them?
Why don’t we teach them that how to face the blows of life for your right?
Why don’t we make them learn how to stand up for their own self when needed?
Why don’t we make it prominent that we are always there to listen?
Why don’t we tell them that in case the marriage proves to be unfavorable, they won’t be abandoned?
Why don’t we instruct them that being vocal about their problems and sharing them is totally okay?
Few reasons for not imparting these lessons among our daughters are because the society doesn’t take a minute to spare anyone from its wrath.
Because we are reluctant enough to face the pointed fingers.
Because women being the sinf-e-nazuk are assumed to be capable of doing no more than suffer what ever life has to offer them.
Because being vocal about a torturous life would not save us from public-shaming.
Because we will set an example of public disgrace and family dishonor by doing so.
But the question that arises now is should marriage be the sole responsibility parents are obliged to fulfill for their daughters?
I have seen parents not spending enough on daughters because “inho ne tou dusre ghar chale jana hai!”
Who can guarantee that this ‘dusra ghar‘ will surely be an ‘acha ghar‘?
No one certainly!
But what we can vouch for should be our daughters being able to survive all weathers and stand strong against the rough winds and thunderstorms, being able to change their course or leaving their place and unblocking the passage for the bizarre air to prevail.
Because daughters are the fragile flowers that should be blooming in a garden spreading their beauty and fragrance, being regularly taken care of by a person who appreciates her presence, respects her reservations and protects her from rough patches on the bumpy road of life.