Proving it wrong

Unfortunately we belong to a society which has already set attributes that go along with either of the two sexes. So if you happen to be a female, then congratulations! There are a number of traits you are required to possess. And if by any chance you don’t own a few of them then you are declared with a lack of feminism or a female heart.

A few of the constant things we have been hearing soon after entering teenage go like Pair jor k chalo, oonchi awaz se ni haso, aese ni betho, aese ni khao etc etc etc. I myself don’t have that typical woman-ish gait because maybe my feet are not designed to walk that way. And yes my laugh has been quite famous back in school, among my friend circle and family. But I survived and got married too. So these are forcibly believed to be a hindrance in the rishta stuff and moreover I guess it is totally okay to be yourself.

Apart from all this, “the love of cats” is a basic rudiment attached to the female gender. She is considered “oh so cute” and very “girlish” if she does have some pet love in her heart but why only Cats?? There are many out there who may have “Ailurophobia” which is the extreme, irrational fear of cats and me being a severe case of that.

Now, What do you call a girl if she rather opts for love of reptiles?Instead of loving cats, I do have a soft corner in my heart and a lot of love for all species of reptiles since I was a little girl. I have always had this feeling of being able to interact with them through my bare hands and naked eyes.

This was my first time holding a turtle back in 2010. Cute isn’t it?

Being a roach and lizard killer of my pre marriage and post marriage home, my family has admired me for this and at the same time loathed the fact that how on Earth can a girl do this. But since everyone else fears them, this responsibility automatically falls on my shoulders solely.

Earlier this year while vacationating in Malaysia I found some lifetime moments to cherish. The butterfly farm in Cameron highlands has far more creatures than just butterflies.

As soon as we got off the bus in Cameron highlands from KL we signed up for a sight seeing tour because we had only a day there to explore. Among the most famous tea fields, Rose garden, bee farm and strawberry farm the butterfly farm has my heart.

Moving a bit further from the butterfly family, the farm caretaker took us towards what took me by surprise and extreme happiness. He offered us tourists if we would like to hold them and me without having a second thought and looking at my husband who was already gaping at me with wide horror eyes I willingly took hold of this.

And this…

The one below was rather a cute leafy something.

My family had little issues seeing these pictures until the one below. They were literally on the verge of out casting me unless I pleaded them and made all realize k these are also a makhlooq of Almighty. Received a lot of “Hawwws” and “Hayee” and “Ewwws” but shoq ka koi mole nahi.

You can see the tourists in background amazed and laughing.

The story doesn’t end here. I found it to be very less of a snake and more of a thin rope which didn’t give me enough pleasure to be claiming to carry or hold a full fledged snake. So my hunt for a proper, big and a more beautiful snake began. And secondly I had to make my husband hold it too because dar k agey jeet hai. And thirdly for everyone to know that there is no harm in girls being daring. It doesn’t make them manlike.

After Cameron, went to Langkawi from Penang and searched a lot till we got to know there’s a big one there in Langkawi Bird Park. When reached there we got to know there are still 3 hrs for the photo shoot with the gorgeous reptile. My husband was so happy and relieved because of the fact that we couldn’t stay that long as we were running short of time and had to leave within an hour to cover other sights. But me being so eager and persistent on have the moment of my life talked to one of the workers there and requested a lot to free open it for just one picture as I came a long way for only that. He sensed the plead in my voice and asked me to wait so that he may talk to the head of the park about that. And to my sheer joy what happened next was this…

My last goal was to persuade Mr.husband to have a pic of himself clicked like this to which his reply was a straight “NO” signalling end of any debate or further discussion. That same worker helped him relax a lot and while other wives ask their husbands to help them in house chores, I asked him to do a thing like this so that when we grow old together, we have a lot to smile about and cherish. And so that I may prove to my son and future daughter that it is very much acceptable for girls to follow their heart and be daring with no stopping if they have the passion. Because the Haw Haye brigade of our society however despises girls for such interests which is wrong.

Just do what you love irrespective of your sex and socially set rules. Feel obliged towards following your heart and mind. Because you don’t have to be a male to be fearless and courageous and anything that comes under the category of dauntless and valiant can never ever question your gender.

Yes I am a girl and I cannot necessarily like cats.
Yes I am a girl and I can love snakes and lizards and roaches.
Yes I am a girl and I can do whatever I love to within my known limits.

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What are your comments on this? I shall be happy to know.

Breaking the stereotype

We desi people living in the 21st century when get to know about someone expecting a child, the first thing we observe as our duty is to pass our greetings by saying:

Ye beta beti kuch ni hota, aaj kal dono barabar hain. Bus aulad naik aur sehatmand ho.

This particular thought of ours is absolutely positive and the need of this hour except for some typical aunties of the uninviting mindset beta burhapey ka sahara“, “beta baap ka baazuand some vain stuff like that. Speaking of myself, we are 3 sisters only but lets leave its pros and cons for some other time.

Anyways, soon after the baby is born, this notion diminishes somewhere when we start associating the term “boyish” with babyboys and “girlishwith babygirls. May it be about colors, toys, activities and xyz other things except clothes. There is no rule of thumb like this but just in our minds as I too am very much peculiar about the color blue for my son. But I guess it is absolutely okay for him to wear some unisex shades of pinks as well. So, I hope my point now justifies.

Now, let me share a small incident about gender inequality with you all that forced me to highlight this topic.

My son being a youtube geek, apart from watching the famous Baby shark doo doo doo”, loves to watch cute baby videos of them playing, singing or engaging in other activities. One day I peeped into what he was watching because there’s something known as parental control.

What caught my attention was a little girl cutting some sort of detachable wooden veges and Arsal was so keenly watching her do that. The sound those veges made being slaughtered (as forcefully she was cutting them) was so real that I couldn’t help myself thinking about the mechanism they followed.

The other day while window shopping in Miniso (luckyone mall), I saw a box of those same cute little veges. With my mind already made up for buying it if not for Arsal then for myself because dil tou bacha hai jeee, I still found the courtesy in asking him if he wants it.

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With just a brief “yes” he excitedly grabbed it from the shelf and ran off to show it to his baba. We bought it and got home. When I told a few people about these interesting little pieces, I got to hear things like,

Isse boys thori khelte hain

And

Ye tou girls ki cheezain hain

These were said by the same people who brag about their open mindedness by saying the very same thing “ye beta beti kuch ni hota……”. If such was the case, there wouldn’t have been a single male chef in the entire world or a ladies tailor who is a male either.

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Instead of nourishing such thoughts, please stand against them. Encourage your sons if they show interest in various kitchen tasks because the word “kitchen” is linked to the female gender since forever which is absolutely mistaken. And secondly because there is no harm in learning a bit more than just chae banana and anda ubaalna.

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After all, a good son today will be a better husband tomorrow. And I will be more than happy and proud to embrace this reality because it is a mother who shapes good husbands for future.

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Pride in one’s mother tongue

Today, when I see my kid burbling some of the famous urdu poems like “Aalu Miyan” and “Hathi mera sathi”, I have a feeling of pride and joy because having studied outside Pakistan myself and specially going to a pre-school where the only medium of study was English and no other language not even Arabic, I was unaware of such cute poems that bring you real close to your mother tongue.

Back in those days there was no vast reach of internet either. So, when we used to travel to Pakistan for vacations and I used to see my cousins singing these poems, it looked so awkward to me and I used to think “poems in urdu for real??”

But now when I see my kid humming these famous poems among many others, I do feel proud because I didn’t get to learn these in the first place. And the first time he came to me and said “Mamma, Aalu miyan”, I literally opened youtube and learnt it myself so that Arsal may realize it’s fun to learn things in Urdu as well and that his mamma knows them too.

There is absolutely no shame if a Pakistani child is grasping Urdu a little ahead of English because at the end of the day, Twinkle twinkle little star, Johny Johny and Baa baa black sheep tou har bachey ko he ajati hai! These 3 poems are like the first day lessons when he/she is born!!

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P.s Not the first Jummah in school but Arsal’s first Jummah wearing Kurta Shalwar to school Mashallah. ❤

Introduction

Hey there everyone, welcome to my blog.

My name is Syeda Taskeen Fatima. I am a post teenage adult who moved from Middle East to Karachi after marriage and is still in the exploring phase.

Soon after stepping into motherhood, I have been taking note of tiny little things that have a greater impact on your life in a positive way and thus, decided to start a blog where I shall be sharing my views, opinions and experiences about many big and small matters that are a part of a daughter, sister, wife and a mother’s life.

Hoping this new venture of mine will benefit many of you. And yeahhh, I won’t mind suggestions and feedback. Feel free to leave comments under the comment section.

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Hope you guys have a good time reading through.

Follow me on instagram at http://instagram.com/taskeen.stf