While the married status continues to teach you a lot of things, travelling to your family also helps you in broadening your horizons and thinking beyond the lines. It shows you new aspects of family bonding and blesses you with memories you can cherish for a lifetime.
2018 has been the year with two trips in my pocket. Earlier in the year I went with only my husband and son and already looking forward to more trips like it that gave us (the family of three) a chance to come closer and have time and days to solely us.
Later the past year, we decided to have a trip to Islamabad and farther. The special thing about this visit was that we stayed at my husband’s uncle’s place. This assisted me in witnessing the true colours (in a positive way) of our typical Pakistani Post-marriage system and it taught me one fine lesson that is the root of all other concepts linked with marriage.
Marriage is all about acceptance. Accepting the new lifestyle, changes and your husband’s family by heart. You cannot enjoy their company by holding grudges in your heart. You cannot indulge yourself in the family perks brought to you by this sacred relation.
Once a daughter and a sister/sil now you are a wife who is someone’s daughter-in-law and sister-in-law. Once a khala or a phuppo, now you are a Taai, chachi or a mami. And that calls for showing extra affection and owning your new family. Because marriage means being readily open to receive additional love and shower even more endearments. It also means leaving a mark on their hearts by the genuine you because that’s how our society is and I believe there is no harm in doing so until your individuality and originality is intact.
I remember once I was missing my parents dearly back home yet I found myself in fits of laughter on some jokes and humor being cracked by my brother-in-laws. It was then that I thought to myself, why am I so cheerful without my parents by my side? How can I be all smiles without my sisters around? How can I be wandering so contented with just a few minutes call to my parents every other day or two? Why am I so happy without ‘My People‘?
And that’s when realization shook me. These are my people too. This is my family too. I haven’t born in this house yet being regarded and loved as my husband’s wife and mother to my son is enough to hold this family close to my heart.
And the very moment I understood this notion, my days filled with joys and laughters. I enjoyed each day spent around my extended inlaws. I loved how the connection was equally stronger on both sides.
Lastly; as my father-in-law and parents say, “It’s always in the girl’s hand to either make it or break it (under favourable conditions for her).”
Let me know your thoughts on this. 🙂